Christmas Time.

Family, Friends, and Hope.

First off, Merry Christmas. Just in case if I kill the mood later on.

I am surrounded by people; people that I love. My ever sweet mother, quirky father, lethargic brother, neato cousins, and ample amounts of uncles and aunties, everything is now right in the world. These are the relationships in ones life that never fail, that above all weariness and heartache, will triumph over any opposition that dare challenge. These are the relationships I pray never fade, break, or die, because they are the foundation of my life, the supports to which allow me to proudly stand tall, I am me. And I am forever grateful. We lift each other up as an interdependent system of entities that share a bond, not only forged in a blend of love or trust, but also in a divine energy that exists freely and powerfully. Oh the greatness of family. They continue to support me as I trek through such transitions like college, and now that the first semester is over, they are still here, and I am still standing.

Now the depressing part. I had thought for maybe about 5 minutes of the types of people in ones life, and I decided to elaborate on this blog as a way to organize my thoughts. First family, next friends, including girl- and boyfriends. These relationships are the toughest of all. They must be created and built, and all accountability is layed at the feet of the creators who used words and actions as material to construct such monuments. Words like "forever", or actions like making promises, but these symbols of togetherness fade, break, and die; they fail. They submit to the destructive force of time because on their own they can't handle the storm. For them to even stand a chance, so much meaning must be welded to them, making these relationships potentially unstoppable. But, the difference is that they also have potential to be stopped. Which leads me to my moment of depressing realization. Returning home from college, once close friends have now faded, and continue to do so even with my diligent efforts. I still hold them dear to my heart, yet they fade, slowly falling through my fingertips as I fight to grasp them. One of my greatest fears.. truly trying to build and build and make perfect, and watch it be destroyed. Though I have established new friendships in college, at the moment how close am I to them? I am stuck in the middle as I push forward, watching as one group fades out and the other fades in. I've lost a means of support, and I don't want to be forgotten.

It takes time to build, and it takes time to destroy. The latter, requiring less than the former, can happen in the blink of an eye. But, with time, there is hope. There is always hope. No matter the amount, hope prevails, it is the 'field in the middle of the city', a light amid darkness. However, the good and bad thing about hope is that it keeps us holding on. It is good to persist because there is that chance, but bad because such persistance may be in vain, and we'll never know when to let go. But then again, how does one define a word like love, or hope? They are merely labels to an energy that is nearly incomprehensible. Because how will you ever really know? Nevertheless, hope is a fuel, and I know that it's keeping me sane, along with my loving family. For when there is hope, there is peace.

I'm single, broke, and unemployed, but I have a smile on my face.

"'There's something inside, something they can't get to, something they can't touch... it's yours.' 'What are you talkin about?'.....'Hope.'"